Contentment in a foreign year

Ive been away for quite a while. Blogging is like driving a car. If you don't drive for a while, you will always remember how it's done but you'll forget those little tips and tricks. Anyway, i'm back and that's all that matters.
2009 was so last year but it was an awesome year. I laughed and i cried. This year, i started with a new year's resolution just like everyone else. I cannot even remember what my resolution was. oh, yeah, i remember now. I decided to stop planning before i did everything. I planned to be more spontaneous if that makes sense. The truth is, i am who i am. I cannot stop planning. I love planning.

So far so good. However, i think i do have a new year resolution i'm gonna stick with. I plan to enjoy myself no matter what. I'm gonna have fun this year. i'm not talking about putting myself in situations just because someone else says it will be fun. i'm talking about doing those things that make me happy. This includes snuggling under my duvet wit a warm cup of tea and reading a Steven King novel ;). What makes you happy?

Expectations and the weak willed

I apologize for the long silence. I'm not dead though, I just went on a little break while I tried to make decisions about my future.

Yesterday night, I let my mother talk me into trying this new diet drink she got. Tasted good but this morning, I had a terrible tummy ache. I'm sure if I gave you three guesses, you would figure out where I was typing this post on the second guess.

For as long as I can remember, I had an impression of what I wanted to do in future. This dream is not something I mention to a lot of people. Even my mum had no idea. It however involved reaching the highest peak of study and teaching in a prestigious university.

When I told my mum, she freaked out. She said I would live comfortably and not filthy rich. I still have my mind made up.

I have parents that excelled in their chosen fields and this makes them believe they know what's best for me. Maybe they do. However, they do not know what will make me happy, I do. The only problem is that I cannot stand up to my parents.

It funny how in every exam I take, I am not trying to keep up with my peers. I am busy trying to keep up with my parents.

When I have kids, I'm going to tell them to set a bar for themselves because trying to reach the bar my parents set for me might just kill me.

Public speaking for the troubled mind

           I am what i like to call a stage manager. I set up the stage so the actors get their 15 minutes of fame. But i'm not in film school, I'm a telecommunications major. So, the other day, i wrote a paper on a topic i won't bore you with. I was supposed to write this with my 'group members' but they did not do their part. I was ok with doing the whole project because we struck a deal; i write the paper, someone else presents. This is what i do. However, the day of the presentation came close and none of my group members could read up in time to present. Final vote, i had to present the paper.

          I hate public speaking. Everyone is looking at you and i cannot stand the sweaty palms. Anyway, i battle with the shaky voice and almost wet my pants but finally present my paper to my dean and four other students. I almost die from the encounter but he likes it. He likes it so much that i'm presenting it at a national conference, to over 400 people. Panic attack anyone?

Bug..... Bug.... BUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                  I used to think roaches were the most annoying insects on earth. Boy was i wrong. Crickets and grasshoppers beat them hands down. My room keeps on getting infested with these pests.   The other morning, i woke up with a cricket on my left arm. I've heard of parrots on your arm but crickets? I screamed and jumped about like a mad person for about 5 minutes. The amazing thing is that my roommate remained asleep all through this. I could no longer sleep on my bed and only got the courage, the next morning, to finish a can of insecticide underneath my bed. The second night, i woke up with a cricket on my right arm. "Oh, now we interchanging?" sigh. There goes another can of insecticide. I hate crickets.

           So i am complaining to my roommate about how these insects are BUGGING me. I ask her why she's always asleep. She does not reply. That night, a grasshopper and a cricket were playing tag beside my bed. While i was jumping about and screaming like i do best, my roommate jumps up and swats both of them in one take. WOW. Who needs insecticide when you have my roommate. HE he he he

Pump the throttle!!! Fool

                   I am one of those breeds of girls that have accepted the fact that they are dependent. I like the Destiny's Child song 'Independent Women", but thats as close to independent as i get. To top it all up, i tend not only to be accident prone, but to have a tendency to get in trouble. However, i am blessed, my friends are cut out to handle me and various my situations.


                  Today was one of those days when i wish i had rabbit feet. I called a cab to take me to the market. Everything was all peachy until the car stalled. Experienced drivers (like myself) know that when a manual geared car stalls, you turn the keys and pump the throttle. However, i was lucky enough to end up with a driver who did not know this. He kept on turning the key in the ignition without throttling. I wonder how he started the car in the first place. Anyhoo, the dude pops the hood and starts messing with his engine then comes back and repeats his miserable attempt at starting the car.

                 You are probably wondering why i dint tell the dude how to do it. I did, but he wudn't listen. He actually said "Let me handle this, i know what to do". then he calls a mechanic and next thing the engine is on the floor. At this point, i called my best friend and all he said was "where are you?". I was picked up and safely in the car before my two bffs started laughing.
Sigh. What would i do without them? probably still be there with Mr. I don't Know How to Drive. Hisssss

Inside a lover's mind

I have a major flaw, i love to criticize. I do it unconsciously and now i think when i die i may be remembered as someone who never had anything good to say about anyone. Sigh! 2010 resolution..... compliment people before you criticize them. Listening to John Stuart Mills' view of morality and this popped up in my head:

I miss you when you're away,

my heart aches in ways i cannot explain.

But when i get you by my side

i wish you would just die

You kiss me, so sweetly

i want your lips to wither away

You touch me, such tenderness

i hope your hands shrivel up

I can hear your heart beat

as you whisper sweet nothings

Nothing, is what i want to hear

Yes, i wish you would just die

Random thoughts of a psycho

I have been staring at my computer screen for over an hour. At the back of my mind,  ideas were floating. Most of my ideas do that and sometimes its pretty hard catching them. Anyways, i finally got a hold of this idea but it came up with a million others and i thought this was hilarious. You may not, but i'm crazy like that. The result was a cocktail of thought, a bit sour but it'll grow on you.

To crave happiness, that feeling of ecstasy

To want what others have

because ours never seems enough

Human nature is curious nature

curious because we are

and curious because i ask

what drives us to do what we do

I have lost fights i thought winning was my destiny,
waited for fate to block all but one on crossroads.
Fairy tales exist but their truths are brutal,
reading between the lines is instant death.
Uncovering secrets and wishing them dead.

 Ignorance is bliss for the stupid

then call me dense

cos i derive ecstacy from not knowing

Its so much easier that way

The irony of my situation

is the downfall of my character

For where i pay the least attention

i remember the most