Running from Norm

I am writing this peering from behind thick lens. Yes, finally got those glasses. I hope it makes me see things clearly and i am not talking about pictures and texts, i am talking about what is going on between the lines.

Two years ago, i was almost at the end of a race i was running. Do you ever get that feeling of giving up when it is so close to the end? I did not. Don't hiss yet and think i am being vain. The truth is, i did not get those feelings because it wasn't close to the end of my race AT ALL. Two years later, i have finally reached the end of my race and i have those feelings. It took me two years and did i learn anything? well, that's a different story.

Life isn't life until you have lived it and probably killed someone. Hold up! I'm not talking about murder here, i'm talking about slander, and betrayal and hurt. You know, those things we do everyday to people. WE apologize for them but in reality, what's sorry?

This was going through my head for a while, like a fly over a dustbin. I would try to swat it away but it just kept on returning. The funny thing is, every time i tried to write, it did not come out just right. It finally hit me at the beginning of a class, while the professor was setting up his projector. It felt a little raw, a little different from what i'm used to but who said old dogs don't learn new tricks.

I haven't written in a while so i may be a lil rusty, but this is what i wrote:

The Gun that Killed Me

I did not shoot the gun that killed me
I bought the gun that ended my life
loaded it with bullets that pierced me
i put the nozzle in the right position
it faced my heart and couldn't miss
i got all the details ready
but i did not shoot the gun that killed me

I changed my mind about dying
he changed my mind about dying
i gave him the gun to hold
i did not want my mind relapsing
i forgot about the gun he held
forgot about the bullets it held
i changed my mind about dying

he did not forget about dying
he changed my mind but his remained
he did not forget about the gun
about the bullets it held
he remembered the gun, and the bullets
he put the nozzle in the right position
placed it to my heart and couldn't miss

i did not shoot the gun that killed me