Save the drama for your mama

Wow, i just looked at my last post and i must say its been a while. Its funny how time flies when you're not paying attention. So, now i am looking. So, Monday was boring as usual and it was a pain getting out of bed in the morning because i i hadn't really spent my weekend in bed. Well, Feyi had other plans. I woke up to "Let's go for breakfast". "Noooooooooooooooooo!, i don't wanna. I don't wanna" There used to be a time when she knew if she pushed right i would budge but lately i know i am becoming more difficult to convince. My mother seems to think it's maturity. I think it's the toll of everything i am going through finally getting to me. So, finally, my growling tummy pushes me out of bed. I make sure Feyi is not around while i get something to eat. Hmm! food tastes so good when you're hungry. I think about going back to bed. Believe me, i give it serious thought but... so i decide to do something productive. I get dressed and go to class.
I get back from class and go over to David and Wale's. Feyi's already there. Then the boredom really hits and i guess we cannot be blamed for what happened next.



Yup yup, we get bored like that sometimes. Plus i guess we owe a big thank you to the man behind the pictures, David, and the ass that was laughing at our craziness throughout, Wale. I love you guys.
Tuesday isn't any better. I get to java class and we jus don't get what our professor is saying. Wow. Who said this was fun.

So, we basically having fun as you can see, taking pictures in java class until my professor catches us red handed.
He says "Someone is going to dean!"
There goes another boring week.

Parental Advisory

So, there was a party last night that i totally did not want to attend. But i've realized that lately i let go more easily than i used to and so, i went for the party. Of course i dragged my best friend Feyi along. We dressed like we were in a hurry cos we were actually late and we rushed off to a party both of us thought was gonna suck for us. Nah Nah! it was totally fun, ended up dancing till my feet hurt and basically having fun. Ha! that'll teach you not to listen to me next time Feyi.

Growing up

I woke up this morning and i was inspired by the beauty of the rising sun. This was like the heavens telling me it was necessary to rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Its beautiful you see, because no matter how heavy a storm is, or how much damage it causes, the sun always shines. I have watched people and interacted with some of them and in the end, i have been amazed. I have seen strangers become close friends, i have seen friends betray and become strangers. I have seen people face obstacles and move on and i have seen people hold on to things and never let go until it ate them up from inside. I have watched people carry other people's business like it was their's without even knowing the truth about the business. I have seen people eat up another person's life and come up satisfied.
I wonder if it is a ground breaking event to grow up. I question how hard it is to mature out of the protection of childishness. I personally feel it is an easy feat if we put our mind to it but i have been informed it is harder than it seems. I have seen, so i believe.

Magic

I just could not resist having two entries today. D'banj fans know this line: 'don't get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing' . I'm gonna twist that a lil bit: 'friendship is a beautiful thing' I love my friends. They are the craziest people i know. There are times i ask myself why i am so crazy and i look at the people i surround myself with and i understand. But still, it hits me, i love my friends. lol. i think i said that already. My friends catch me when i fall and advice me not to walk into the same hole. Get this, i am bloody stubborn, i walk into the same bloody hole and my friends still pick me up and dust off the dirt. I love my friends. I wake up on days and i don't want to face the world, my friends tell me the world should be scared of facing me and pull me out of bed.
I have laughed with them and i have cried with them and they have been with me through all of this. We have our fights and we laugh about how stupid we are and hug. There are days when i am so pissed i don't want to see anyone, my friends cheer me up and make me laugh so hard i forget what made me angry in the first place. When i face trials, i know i can run to them and the first question they ask me is "who do i need to beat up?"
Don't get it twisted, friendship is a beautiful thing. I love my friends.

Walk a mile in my shoes.

I don't have big feet,
but you could never fill my shoes.
My neck isn't the strongest,
but it holds my head up high.

My shoulders hold much weight,
but i still walk straight.
My eyes have seen death,
but i don't keep them closed.

My lips have tasted poison,
but i didn't stop drinking.
I haven't experienced too much,
but you can't walk a mile in my shoes.

first meeting

I feel the rush of emotion
when our eyes meet at first.
love at first sight is a silly notion
this feeling i regard as thirst.

I want what you offer,
the feeling of love and care.
I see us both suffer,
we cannot ignore it's there.

The attraction is our cupid
I feel it push us closer.
you smile and i'm rigid
i gather what nerve i can foster.

Health issues

Lately, i have forgotten how it feels to be healthy. I don't remember how it feels to have a healthy appetite. I try to brush my teeth and i feel nausea creeping up as the brush touches my tongue. Smells appear stronger than they really are and choke me until i feel the usual nausea creeping in. I do not even want to talk about the the compressing pain in my chest. I woke up yesterday morning and for five minutes i could not inhale or exhale; i could feel myself suffocating on nothing because the pain in my chest restricted me from the normal exercise of breathing. I find myself walking on a normal day and having waves of dizziness hit me like an unmanned trailer on an expressway. Oh yes, and the weight loss. The saddest part of all of this is that i am being pumped daily with drug after drug. I hate hospitals and i am mad scared of syringes but lately i have had to let go of my restrictions in my search for health. My mother told me some days back that i had all these problems because i did not drink enough water. wow! i thought. i am gonna start drinking a lot of water. What's the worse that could happen? the excess water over hydrates my system causing my tissues to swell with the excess fluid and me to drown from water intoxication or hyponatremia?lol

Superstitions

Today was hilarious. A friend of mine came into the room with this website open on her laptop. Its a website that answers any question you ask. Right! that's what i was saying up until i got a question about myself answered. It freaked me out and got me thinking alot about superstitions and faith. The 'answerer' in question insisted on faith in order for our questions to be answered and everytime i asked a question it told me i needed more faith. Now i am thinking just how much faith do i really need in life to have my wishes come true. Religions preach faith in order to move mountains, now, this website was preaching faith too. I jus have one question I hate the location of my dorm. If i had just the right amount of faith, could i move the building closer to where i have my classes? That's a question peter.

Midnight within

I lay awake and listen
My thoughts trail to you
crickets invade the silence
moonlight casts an eerie glow
where can i go?

I think of happy things
sad things creep up
being held and caressed
the emptiness within
i think of many things
as i lay awake and listen

Expectations

Oooo! guess who's thinking again. lots of laughs. so i am really thinking about changing my major. I woke up the other day and i just did not see myself working in telecommunications. Does this make me confused? does this happen to everyone, like you just want to let go and try something new. Maybe i am taking things out of proportion. I'll sleep on this and if i wake up tomorrow and i want to be a medical doctor, guess who'll be the first to know.

Random thoughts

There is a basic human philosophy that goes like this: the grass looks greener on the other side. That's why skinny people wanna be fat, fat people wanna be skinny; girls with big breasts wish they had little ones and girls with little ones wish they had big ones. I must come from space; i just never seem to be able to conform to norm. I guess this makes me unique just like everyone else. lol. Sometimes i sit and wonder about things; things that have happened, things that are about to happen and things that may not happen. I do this because i once heard you have to overcome your past to conquer your future and the present helps you do this. Yeah! i know it sounds corny and all but hey, give it a thought. So, anyway, here i am sitting and thinking about things and i get one of my ideas; being lonely is not about being alone. It is about having the deepest secrets, the urge to share these secrets, and no one to share them with. Being lonely is having these secrets eat you up from within until there is nothing left but a shadow of what was there before.

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, sometimes i have to pull up my birth certificate just to remind myself how old i am. My family treats me like i will never be anything more than the cute little 5 year old who used to run around naked. I am not saying i do not still run around naked but that is besides the point. Sometimes i feel like i have to ask for permission to go to work every morning. They always find excuses to check up on me and make sure i am still alive. And when i decided to go for a vacation all by me lonesome, omg! mistake. i got ten selected members of my family giving me reasons why i should not go. I love my family so much and really really cherish their points of view. This is why it felt oh so good as i got on the plane.

I am me

I woke up this morning feeling particularly gloomy. Maybe it was the sound of the raindrops hitting my bedroom window; a sure sign that my usual morning jog was not going to take place. So, i made myself a cup of hot chocolate and settled into bed with a Steven king novel. Then it hit me; i do not need a bright sunny day to make myself feel good, i do not need to go out of my way to cheer myself up. why? because i know myself. I know that it takes very little to make me happy, i know that with the right book, all my troubles fade away. i know that i can spend a whole day watching my favorite television series and praising the writers of the script but i will never be happy with how it ends, not because i do not think they did a good job but because i hate to say goodbye. I know that i can spend weeks writing a shopping list but when i finally get to the supermarket, i forget i ever had a list. I know that i love chocolate and i know i love music but above all this; I know i love myself. Why? because i am me!

Acceptance

It is human nature to hold on right until its obvious we cannot hold on anymore. And even then, we still try to hold. It saves the body, mind and soul to let go early enough. it eases the heart. I have held on to a lot of things and when i finally let go, i could not remember why i held on in the first place.

Grab the chicken; il get a drink

My cousin reminded me of a very funny thing that happened in our neighborhood when we were little. Two of our mates, Dedun and Mike, wanted to throw a big party but they did not have enough money. They came up with the perfect plan to throw the cheapest party ever. Dedun would steal chicken from his mother's poultry while the Mike would steal drinks from his mother's shop. it was the perfect plan. everything went as expected and they threw their big bash. What they did not anticipate was an enraged sibling. Mike had refused his brother some of the drinks he had nipped from his mother's shop. His brother reported the party to Mike's mum. She came ready to party. As soon as Mike saw his mum, he jumped out of a window and ran for cover. Mike is now in Italy. The last time i spoke to him, i him about this incident. He laughed and answered "Every time i send her money, i have to send extra money so she can buy chicken" I laughed to this. Cheapest party right; he was still paying for his party.

To horoscope or not to. That is the question.

I woke up today feeling particularly cheerful. Waking up very early usually makes me grumpy but today it was just fine. The walk to work did not seem as gloomy and never ending as it usually did. Things were going so fine, i decided the best end to all this would be to tuck myself into bed, snuggle my teddy and doze off for the rest of the day. I got back home and took a look at my horoscope; it contradicted me. apparently, today would be a lovely day to go out and flaunt around town. Heck, it even said love was in the air for me. Hmm..........what to do.......My horoscope said it would favor me to go out. And these things are amazingly accurate sometimes. I weighed my options for minutes. With a low sigh, i climbed into bed. Flaunt around town my foot. I was making my own destiny; sleep. If love was in the air, it would wait until i was through dozing.

Unnoticed beauty

Yesterday i studied a snail. This was all i could do to keep from getting frustrated at the ever late bus. Yet, this snail turned out to be much more than a momentary distraction. I noticed how it moved slowly, almost like it was singing Hakunamatatah. its shell bobbed from side to side as it took each coming step slowly. The snail, as if sensing being watched, stopped and peered around its surroundings. On seeing me, it halted its almost none existent movement. It stared at me as though trying to figure out if i was friend or foe. I smiled at my new friend. This seemed to confirm to the snail that i meant it no harm and it continued its slow but leisurely movement. 'You should take life slow too you know, take in all the beauty around you' it seemed to tell me. I smiled and listened to this point of view. From no where, another pedestrian, taking quick long strides walked past the bus stop. My eyes followed this new comer who seemed to be doing the exact opposite of what the snail preached. I laughed within at the irony. I turned back to my new found friend and he was no more. .

very harmful friendly discussions

A close friend of mine posted a note about why you just had to love men. This would seem like a very harmless occurrence. Wrong! it sparked off a heated debate or shall i say discussion. The funny thing about this debate, it soon involved the guys thrashing the girls. How did we even get there. There's a saying: men are from Mars and women are from Venus. The truth is: men and women are from Earth; you cannot live with them, you cannot live without them. Or can we?lol.

Learning to cope

So, i remember my mum always telling me i spent money like it was plucked from trees. I would think, okay, but you sure do not act like the money is that hard to come by. So, this summer, i got myself my first job. What the heck was i thinking? working is sure as hell not a walk in the park especially when it involves supervising other people. People that just do not get why they have to be supervised. The sad thing about my job is that i have to show those i supervise what to do, thus, i have to do their jobs for them. A few of them have caught on to this and so, even when they know how to perform a task, they feign ignorance, thus, i do their jobs while they sit back and answer "oh, so you can do it that way?". Damn! i have to wake up tomorrow morning and go through this ritual again. Yesterday, my mum called to ask how my job was going. i could hear the smile in her voice. I told her about my aching back and my eye bags the size of carryalls. she laughed and answered "it could be worse, you could be climbing a tree right now trying to pluck some money"